Little Blue Men Invade Tijuana

Fording the Tijuana River across several locations late last night, hordes of armed men crossed into Mexican Federation territory occupying Tecate and seizing control of Mexicali, the Baja California state capital.

Local residents in the city of Tijuana reported seeing well equipped men carrying machine guns and wearing camouflage appear out of nowhere, going street to street rounding up individuals and establishing roadblocks during the early morning hours.

Fires have spread along with the wave of invaders, and an exodus has begun in several border cities across Mexico. Tijuana is the site of extreme violence as city officials have not ceded to the armed group’s demands for surrender, while the whole situation takes on a more serious tone as the continent wakes up to the prospect of war.

An estimated 60,000 armed men crossed the border from Calexico toward downtown Mexicali alone. Moving swiftly and quietly through the night, the armed groups took most border guards and police outposts by surprise. Gunmen broke into radio, TV, and telepathy stations across the city, and stormed the capitol building, capturing the state government nerve center in under an hour.

Fortifying the capital and surrounding city council halls, small groups of engineers then set up defensive positions to intercept the inevitable Mexican Army response. There has also been a mobile van lugging a gigantic loudspeaker driving throughout the streets broadcasting a message of peace amidst the chaos. By the morning, the cadres controlled most of Mexicali. They reportedly sent a large detachment of men further south to secure the large State Park and Biological Preserve along the Gulf of California’s northern coast.

No word on the groups progress or if they have meet any resistance but it is possible the entire Baja Peninsula will be isolated by the end of the day.

Little Blue Men

Tecate was taken completely off guard and the city was swallowed up in the initial border crossings. Groups of men in blue khaki now roam the streets enforcing a temporary martial law ordered by the newly installed Mayor. Residents that have telepathically called loved ones in the United States of North America report row after row of vaguely dressed soldiers heading toward Tijuana.

The armed men, although killing many people deemed tactically necessary, have treated the general population with deference and respect. There have been no reports of wanton violence apart from their operations to seize control of key buildings and sites across the Baja California state of Mexico. Apparently some construction projects were begun immediately, including the building of advanced water purification and telepathic communication relays. Some locals have even referred to the commandos as the “courteous gentleman.”

Identities of the armed group members remain a mystery. Mobilizing this size invasion force while maintaining secrecy begs a high level of sophistication. An elderly man and life long resident of Tecate, who asked to remain anonymous, had this to say during a telepathic-interview,

“I went up to a few of these scary looking guys,” Anon stated. “Carrying the best, most advanced looking American guns I’d ever seen. I told them: I don’t believe you are Mexicans. You’re American. Look at you, it’s obvious my friends. You can’t cheat an old man like me. I’m from the same system under a different flag.”

One of them replied: ‘Ah, there’s no tricking an old dog, eh?’ Anon went on to say “I’m sure they’ve been sent here and paid to make revolts and calamities that my people would never commit. I mean all you have to do is look at them and listen to them, if they happen to say two words as opposed to speak through their heads. So I asked one of the armed “men in blue” honestly, where do you come from?”

“Baja,” he barked. After, he showed a devilish smile, “Actually, there’s no such nationality as Baja, or even Mexican for that matter. It’s all an old Spanish deception. We’re all Americans. And this land isn’t Baja, it’s the Free and Sovereign State of Baja California, and we will make it free, and we will defend it.”

The Border

No official response has been issued by the Presidentor of the United States of North America, however, he did comment before boarding Air Force Rocket One back to the White House in Lebanon, Kansas.

As he ducked into the rocket’s cabin, he turned to a crowd of reporters and said “These groups seem to be Baja patriots, they have no relation to the USNA Armed Forces and are receiving no support. Who knows how they got through the border, but it seems easy enough for people south of the border to do very very regularly.” The Presidentor was in Montreal, discussing a formal trade pact with the newly combined island nation of Greenland-Nunavut.

Presidentor Press Secretary, Jordan Phillips, stayed behind to address the situation further. When asked about who the groups were and what they wanted, he had this to say, “All they are, are the face of a larger movement. Baja California has expressed a desire to be a free state, and of friend of the U.S.N.A. The people in the streets are in fact members of self-defense groups, organized by the locals.”

When questioned as to how they got so much gear, and so many troopers efficiently across the border, he responded, “I don’t know where they got their equipment, but, you can find such things in surplus stores all over.” Press Secretary Phillips continued to circle back to some standard lines however, without prompting, reiterating “they seem to be making a political statement and have taken the principle of self determination to heart. Let me repeat though, the U.S.N.A has no involvement in their actions and does not condone their violence. The Presidentor has been telepathically linking with the Mexican Federation Premier since this all started in hopes of finding a peaceful solution.”

The U.S.N.A & Mexican border is officially closed at this time, and all people within the border zones are asked to remain vigilante and calm.

This poses a challenge to the media outlets covering the crisis, what do you call people who are officially not there? In addition what has been, and what will be the Mexican government’s response? It’s said whole divisions of the Mexican Army are being readied and sent to the front lines of this gray zone conflict.

Given orders to regain control of Mexicali, Tecate, and aid in the defense of Tijuana, the Mexican Army is ready to defend and recapture its territory. A delicate mission as they will have to try to avoid large civilian casualties in mostly urban settings, and be very careful of not directly inciting an attack by the Armed Forces of the U.S.N.A. The US Army is constantly on patrol and are based in large numbers all along the southern border.

Mexican Premier García has vowed to take back every inch of Baja Mexican land, and to expel and punish any “little man in blue.” He rallied his people in a nationwide telepathic broadcast early this morning. He did not condemn the U.S.N.A by name, but suggested these invaders, “Must have come from somewhere, and I don’t see any Galleons off our coast.”

Premier García went on to address the rumor Mexican citizens were already being cleared out of captured cities to make room for new ‘settlers’, stating, “I cannot comment on the fates of those Mexican citizens trapped behind enemy lines, but they are clearly susceptible to any form of victimization while under the tyranny of these little blue men. But I want them to know, we are coming to save you. Resist if you can, stay safe if you can’t . We are on the way.”

Ejército Mexicano

The Men in blue taking control of Baja have mainly faced little resistance during their initial thrust into Mexico, due in large part to their speed and surprise, but more dispatches are coming in describing local nationalist militias beginning to fight back against the invaders. An estimate of up to 120,000 little blue men have descended upon Tijuana.

A notable exception to the passive resistance faced by the blue men so far, the city already ranked among the most dangerous in the world, has become even more nightmarish. It’s been reported that some local police divisions inside Tijuana have joined forces with receptive drug cartels, in order to be the first line of defense against this aggression from the north. Fierce house to house fighting has damaged large sections of the city.

The San Ysidro Port of Entry has been destroyed, slowing down any Federal response form either side of the border.

Tijuana has been stubborn, not bending to the demands of the blue militias. Local government officials and the mayor herself have taken up arms. They have not left the city and are coordinating defenses. Little blue men have been spotted using drones and other high tech equipment like laser disrupters and projectile c-4 cannons to dislodge stubborn resistance.

It has been said some family members of Tijuana resistance groups have been rounded up to be used as bargain chips to reach a settlement. Things are growing desperate in Tijuana as the little blue men try to capture the city before the Mexican Army can arrive to reinforce the local defenders.

The Battle of Tijuana

U.S.N.A Navy vessels have been sighted patrolling in large numbers around the Panama SuperCanal to discourage any threat made on the important piece of global infrastructure.

If the Free and Sovereign State of Baja California claims independence, it will have to first defend itself from Mexico. Then, the infant nation will have to deal with internal strife, corruption, and external international diplomatic acceptance.

As far as being annexed by the United States of North America, as is hoped by some members of this blue insurrection, that will be a hard feat to achieve. Some political analysts are skeptical of the Presidentor’s claim of zero U.S.N.A involvement, citing an oddly timed cyber-attack in Mexico City that shut down several high level political and military administration centers.

No parties have taken responsibility thus far. In addition, the U.S.N.A can be viewed as trying to keep up with the other global superpowers softly taking a bite out of weakened neighbors. American political experts are slower to say the U.S.N.A has any fault, explaining it would be crazy to invade such a valuable cultural and trading partner. There is no way to tell whose telling the truth until more is heard directly from the leadership of this armed insurrection clad in blue, and the people they claim to be liberating.

According to military planning documents obtained by MEntalNEws Now, the U.S.N.A military is concerned about the arrival of “unregulated militia members self-deploying to the border in alleged support” of Customs and Border Protection.

The assessment estimates that 200,000 militia members could show up. “They operate under the guise of citizen patrols,” the report said, while warning of “incidents of unregulated militias stealing National Guard equipment during deployments.” The military report provided no further details about the alleged thefts.

They did continue on to say they have gotten some written communications from the little blue men, revealing only a snippet of their propaganda pamphlet being spread as they march south, “Mexico is America, America is Mexico, but Baja should be a Free Baja, free to trade, and deal, and align with whoever we’d like. Don’t be scared brothers and sisters. We’ve come to liberate you.” [translated from original Spanish]

Infographic Feed

The global community is holding its breath in hopes a continental war doesn’t break out in North America. The United Nations has sent teams of peacekeepers to the Gray Zone in hopes of reaching a diplomatic solution. Both the United States of North America and Mexican Federation are on high alert, and while Mexico has to deal with a large invasion force on land, the U.S.N.A must deal with a large amount of international suspicion.

Is America on the verge of embracing its imperial tendencies, or is this a misunderstanding on an monumental scale? But, as violence continues in Tijuana and armed men try to take over the entire Baja Peninsula while fighting off a national army, people caught in the middle will suffer, and the fates of whole nations will sway in the balance. Reporters from across the world have flocked to the Gray Zone. More news will follow as the situation develops and the first large scale military encounter seems to be on the horizon.

Last reports had the Mexican Army and Navy consolidating their forces at Puerto Peñasco, before making an assault on the little blue men waiting to confront them in the Altar Biosphere Reserve on the hinge of the Baja Peninsula.

By Sade Achebe

1 reply »

  1. The situation in Tijuana is so bad, this type of article without disclaimers saying it is not real news causes many issues. Not funny.. Live one day there and you’ll know why.


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